Over these last few weeks I've lost count on how many tantrums I dealt with in a day and how many times I had to say "Just walk over her" while we were out in public and she was blocking someones way as she screamed and kicked on the floor. 

That's right, I'm totally that mom. Scream and cry all you want, but that doesn't mean you are going to get your way, princess. 

But I mean... she throws a tantrum when I say yes, so could you really blame me?

Brynlee is a very strong willed child. It is her way or the highway and when she doesn't get her way she doesn't forget- distract her with something else? Nope. We will be fighting with her over the same thing for days sometimes. She will ignore you and turn her head away. If she doesn't want you around she will take your hand and walk you to a new room. She knows what she wants and when she wants it.

I'm in a constant battle of trying to pick my battles with her, but lately I've been losing every. single. one.  From saying yes to saying no .. this momma is just not winning.

Now with Balen becoming more mobile ( did I tell you he's crawling?! ) , teething constantly , and Brynlee throwing a tantrum for every reason and unknown reason - I'm running thin. If one child hasn't been screaming the other is. Constantly. Every day. For weeks.
But on the bright side to them running me thin is I lost five pounds last week. So I mean.. silver lining? Your child may be crazy, but you'll lose weight! 

There was one particular day that sticks out form all the rest, one I'm sure will haunt me for awhile if not forever. We met with a friend for a play date at the Discovery Museum thinking a nice fun day followed.. disaster started to strike not even five minutes after we entered. 

As I said.. Brynlee is very strong willed and she does not forget what she has her mind set to. So after she finally stopped crying over the fact I wouldn't let her run into a play structure by herself and got her set on playing with a water toy - I spent the next half an hour catching her trying to leave the water world room as she tried to sneak away to the play structure around the corner. 

Every where we went she did not want to be. There were lots of tears and lots of screaming on the floor. 

At one point our friends went downstairs to eat while I was sucked into the damned play structure she fought so hard to get into. When I tried to get her to come down all hell broke loose and eventually I had to carry her and Balen down three floors - stopping every few steps to adjust her kicking and punching body so I didn't drop them both. 

Mind you that's about 60 pounds on babes I'm carrying hah!

I finally get us to the bottom - success! But not really.

Now my sweet, sweet toddler is screaming bloody murder on the floor. Kicking. Smacking. Screaming. Lips turning purple from crying so bad and gagging. Every time I try to pick her up she kicks and squirms. I'm hot and sweating from trying to hold onto Balen and pick her up at the same time to take her to the stroller. Absolutely everyone in earshot and a little beyond has stared at one point. Thank god that's not MY kid. I'm sure everyone was thinking.

After about 5-10 minutes I felt complete defeat. What in the hell am I suppose to do? Is this what I get for having two small babies so close in age?! I wonder if the circus is coming to town and I could bribe them to take her? The Amazing Screaming Toddler.

As I'm standing there admitting defeat a lady comes over to me and asks if I minded if she held my sweet baby boy who will NEVER do this to me (right??)  while I handled my psychotic toddler. 

YES I practically yelled as I passed him to her. 

*Notes- she didn't call her psychotic, those are my words.

And it really is funny how much changes from first to second child.

I never would of let a stranger hold Brynlee.

But alas, I was desperate.

This sweet lady walked with me to our strolled while I wrestled Brynlee into it. Red in the face with embarrassment I thanked her greatly and apologized.

She told me she was happy to help because she knew exactly how I felt in that moment. 

Now where could I find a bottle of wine in this joint?! 

From there we had more break downs before we left - 

Being jealous when Clifford the Big Red Dog hugged other kids.

Upset when Clifford left which resulted in her looking for him the next hour. 

Upset I wouldn't let her get into the water, which resulted in her dunking her whole head in. 

Upset I wouldn't let her go back into the play structure, which at one point I was tempted to. Security would find her wondering around another floor eventually, right? 

I've been traumatized this month.

It's not child birth that scares me. Or the sleepless nights that doesn't make me want more babies.

It's the age of two. 

Moms.. don't get too comfortable. You may have a difficult toddler now, but never let your guard down to think this is the worst it could get. Because it can indeed get worse. 

Be prepared - go to your local Sam's Club or Costco and stock up on wine, ice cream, and snacks for the days you need to hide in the closet. 

If you are reading this send help.