Terrible Twos.
Threenager.

This is what we call those horrible phases our children go through. We try to convince ourselves and other parents that this will pass. Even though while you are trying to give your mommy friend a good pep talk you are hiding in the closet from your toddler. It's fine, toootally fine...please send help.
Is it really a phase? Because to me it seems like these phases last a lot longer than the time in between. So, let's just be real here for a minute - kids are assholes.

They yell and scream at you.
Hit and bite (We've been lucky to not have a biter, but man will she slap the hell out of you.)
They steal your energy and your food.
They say they are hungry, but don't want anything you give them.

Do you know what Brynlee is doing right now? It's 12:38am and I just spent the last 2 hours hunting down a binky, getting her milk, and cuddling with her to go back to sleep. Is she sleeping? No. She's up playing with her blocks. Seriously, it's after midnight, go to sleep. Not to mention we did this the night before as well. And it seems our children made a deal to where if one wakes up the other one will soon after.
*Which he did, by the way. I was up until 3.

It's not like we can really blame them- with their little bodies and minds taking in new things and growing every day. Then to add on not being able to do things for themselves, not being able to communicate, and not understanding somethings can not happen immediately or how they want them too.

I get it, your mom asking you to not step on your brother's head..that is a lot to handle.

Not to say that your child will forever be the biggest asshole in the world all the time. They are sweet and loving, and for a moment when they run up behind you and give you a hug or want you to play with them, you forget that they are a ticking time bomb. That is, until you hand them the wrong colored block while you are building a tower - how dare you! Who knew "yewwow" didn't actually mean yellow, but blue? Cue in screaming and destruction of block tower.

Our daughter has been in her "terrible twos" for a month or so, but I'm prepared for it to get worse. She screams and cries over the littlest things. She asks for things, but gets extremely upset if you hand them to her. She throws herself on the ground in public and throws tantrums.  Last week during gymnastics she kept throwing a fit because I wouldn't let her run around on all the equipment and when I picked her up she smacked me in the face in front of everyone. It took all my strength not to cry at that moment. Not because it hurt, but I was extremely exhausted and embarrassed. Looking back now "almost crying because my toddler hit me" seems hilarious, but I digress. Man, my kid is a jerk.

I'm sure there will be parents that read this and say No, you just have really bad parenting and you are the asshole. True to a point - I am an asshole, but I don't consider myself a bad parent. I don't let my sweet girl get her way, I don't yell and scream at her as a form of getting my point across, I don't ignore her and as a result she lashes out. Do I flip her off time to time behind her back? Totally, but I'm present, active, and loving for her. She knows her ABCs, numbers, shapes, colors. She says bless you, please and thank you, and she isn't even two yet. How's that for bad parenting?

It is just that children are people and people are assholes. Luckily for us parents our children are cute, kinda mean well, and they love you. We can only hope to teach them how to contain the asshole within like we have to everyday and become well behaved adults.

Okay, so technically it is a phase, but there is another one right around the corner so don't get too comfortable.  I know there are so many of us moms in the thick of it and going through this together. It's hard and frustrating at times, but remember - childhood is a phase as well. One day we will wake up and that phase will be over - so enjoy it, asshole-ness and all while you can.